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It’s all y’all’s fault!
I heard this phrase at work on Friday, and it struck me, how incredibly, deeply, indelibly Southern it is…
From the accent, to the habit of blaming, to the clumping of anyone that’s not “yer folk” into a vast glob of otherness. The lilting sing-song that wafts on the breeze, a veiled curse…
Thank goodness it was said jokingly in this instance…
Still, we speak what we know… And since I still live here and experience such things, I feel compelled to own the part of myself that sometimes wants to join in with the battle cry: it’s all y’all’s fault!!!
Spank me. Let’s get on with it, team… I’m really trying to move beyond “all y’all’s fault”…
For the past several weeks my interests have been focused on understanding better how we appear in this world…
How do we, as physical beings, arise in a world that is a dream…
And if we do in fact appear in just that way, how do we reconcile ourselves to experiencing conflict?
Does conflict always arise from within?
I was given the analogy of water.
Flowing (following) from the words in the sketch above:
The river and the vapor are similar… Not separated by “matter”.
If we are the water – if mind is akin to a water molecule – then what are the air and the earth, plants, animals…
Ah, you’re seeing it… The water pervades everything, eh?
Vapor & water: water molecules (mind) are free to move about within certain constraints. Within bodies – plant or animal – water is contained, restrained…
Mind has boundaries…
When it’s in a body.
If there were no bodies, rocks and stones, mind would have no self-awareness.
Is this a choice mind makes?
Your Ultimate Nature – of mind – is the infinite field of “water molecules”.
So, in a body, minds move like water molecules… evaporating, flowing, condensating… One mind is made up of infinite minds?
If each thought, impulse, emotion is a mind, a water molecule… yes.
So all of those – many – converge into a water droplet which is…
Awareness. Before incarnation.
Awareness requires aggregates – no need to re-invent the wheel, just quote Wikipedia…
Molecules are aggregates? There are many aggregates…
But all water molecules are the same…
Are they? And are you sure all aggregates are not the same?
Good. Please do.
A molecule is a model, made up of atoms, which are models….
No human eye has directly beheld a water molecule or a hydrogen atom and recognized it as such.
It’s all theory…
Precisely. So we can make assumptions, too.
Okay, so we can presume that our water molecules can be as varied as aggregates… And they gather…
Yes, thank you. Diagram skandas from Wikipedia. Let’s continue with the water anyway. Please abandon overwhelm. Stop envisioning how much time things will take. Stop thinking of time.
Okay. Atoms are skandas (aggregates), water molecules are individuated minds… (Yes) Electrons, protons, quarks… are… ?
Let’s say quarks are Very Subtle Mind, particles are Subtle Mind.
Works for me. So, along these lines, even in a river, ocean, vapor: individuated minds converge and yet are discreet…
And even within a body’s mind, there is a collection of gross minds.
(Transcript of notes in sketch at beginning of post: “Leslee” did not create this world. But an aspect of yourself did. Ref: We are all One – but explain in more detail. That aspect is up the tree, so to speak… Upstream. And “Leslee” is just a rivulet. One River.
spring from within….
From a spring… into a river, then streams, then to an ocean…. And from precipitation, gathering into streams, rivers, oceans…
clouds – vapor – to rain drops or snowflakes… rivers to ocean
and clouds to drops to aquifers to springs…
It all comes from the drops, the molecules of water.
…and what I saw was cycle after cycle, layer after layer of water changing phase, it’s bits and parts moving though the air, the plants and animals, into the soil, through the rocks, and emerging again into the aquifer, emerging as a spring, flowing into a river to the ocean, to evaporate and rejoin the air as vapor again…
…and vapor condensing into rain, falling onto earth and forming rivulets that gather into streams and eventually flow to the ocean also…
…through the air, through the earth, along the surface… mind, like water, pervading all things…
…any aspect of any of us is part of all of our selves… we both create and abide in peace amongst all the virtual atoms and concepts…
I arrived in Jacksonville Florida on June 10. As the weeks have passed, I’ve wondered: where has my “oomph” gone?
It’s so quiet and peaceful here (even though work is hectic).
I have thought about writing… or drawing… or posting… but I usually end up just going to the beach.
There, I walk. Or sit. Or swim. Or watch the birds… Or people.
Two nights ago, after dusk, I watched someone release paper lanterns into the sky… They drifted out past the surf winds, towards the apparently awaiting military helicopter, and eventually disappeared into the atmosphere or oblivion. Beyond words.
It was okay that it was too dark to see “who did this???”. It didn’t matter. It was beautiful.
I was able to just watch and enjoy, rather than quickly whipping out the phone to take a photo.
This morning, I wondered why I felt so content to just “be”. For me, this is a new experience.
Tonight, some words arrived.
Funny, since I have been here I have felt so fat and happy. Yet the words describe experiences that lead to “diagnoses”. I chuckle. I’m the one sitting in the sand and shells. If that’s madness, call me a Hatter.
For days and daze
I have felt the quiet of peace.
Free from compulsion to
And I have viewed that peace
from the crest of tactile
as an absence.
I have felt
… not “driven”.
Is this what we mistake for boredom?
How do we balance?
How do we swing the bi-polar arc?
Sweep up out of the valleys of the numbness of depression
And sail over the peaks of WILL.
The cycles roll despite (yet not in spite of) our yearning for equilibrium
This is being human.
This is the lesson of the body.
This is why we have come here.
(To skip ahead to the Dream Instructions, please scroll down about 12 paragraphs, past the conversation.)
Lately I’ve been grappling with some frustrations over wanting more clarity about several decisions I see hovering in the coming weeks.
I’m dancing around Springtime energies, which for me seem as disruptive as fat bamboo bursting through Georgia clay.
As I was walking home a few nights ago, I tried my best to focus on figuring out what I was even asking for. I’ve spent a couple months sitting down, asking to connect, to be shown something, anything, that might give me some direction.
I confess I’m nostalgic for the days from three springs ago, when the words of All About Enlightenment flowed through the pendulum and pen for hours a day, for six weeks. Those days burst with energy and purpose, but they also brought great trauma and deep disruption in my family life and relationships. I received the connection I longed for, and the assignment I craved, at the price of a semblance of a “normal” life.
So in the aftermath I’m comparatively cautious about what I ask for, and how strongly I stamp my feet when things seem a bit quiet for my taste.
I seem to get more clear answers through dreams than meditation, and recently my meditations have been pretty darned dull. This week, I’m terrifically encouraged by some suggestions I received on April 22 for dreamwork. So far I’ve tried this for three nights, and each attempt has yielded information I asked for. So I’ll share the steps below, in hopes that you might find them helpful.
Meanwhile, back to my walk home and its results.
To put this in context, I was griping to my Guides about some physical constraints I was feeling. In that light, I was fantasizing about having my ET friends come and whisk me into an easier circumstance. It started out like this:
“Is it possible for You to appear in physical form, to my physical form?”
“So let’s suppose there are ETs that might… Possible?”
“Are they Enlightened?”
“But so what? Let’s say a ship lands tomorrow. What are they really going to do?”
I’ll elaborate on the rest of the conversation elsewhere, for the sake of staying on topic. When I settled down for the evening, here’s what I got.
“I need to make specific dream requests. I want to learn how to go to particular ‘places’, meet with specific beings, and reach an understanding of specific things. Possible?”
No. You need training.
“Can You please help with this?”
1. Generate a peaceful mind. Demanding won’t work. Visualize yourself already knowing how. (This would be so cool if I could share this tomorrow after having it work!) This takes the most practice.
2. Place the request to meet. Hold the idea of a Being very loosely… Do NOT visualize. Prepare yourself to accept whatever arises, and TRUST.
3. Place the request for information. Try to hold this in the most generic terms possible. Yet have a sense of [forth] the specific feeling you wish to experience when you return ‘here’. What will ‘accomplishment’ feel like?
5. Consider your requests: where, who, what to discuss/learn, why to meet. Choose one as a priority, in case all requests cannot be met simultaneously.
6. Request how much to recall.
I fell asleep trying to recall the steps, and before I could envision the golden cord. Perhaps holding it as an intention was enough.
My main request was to learn/see something that would help me understand very clearly our relationships to guides, and how this world appears so ‘real’… Illusion… Understanding how the illusion is produced and sustained, and how it relates to other dimensions…
I’ll share the details of the dream that followed in another post (probably on Bandaid Buddhist), but I was amazed at how precisely and extensively my request was answered!
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve continued to use these steps for three nights, and each night I’ve remembered at least one dream that responded to my requests. It’s taken some morning meditation and journaling the dreams to process their meanings more fully, but I’m really delighted with the results.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences, especially if you try this method too… If you give it a shot, I hope it yields some results you find useful. We all dream and envision differently, so please try try try, and listen for your own nudges about how to burst through the clay of daily life into the magical journey into other realms.